June 25, 2014
There’s a story about a man who sought out the Buddha for help. He was unhappy with his life. There was nothing overwhelmingly terrible about his life, but it seemed full of an endless succession of little disappointments, struggles and complaints.
He was a farmer, and a good one. He enjoyed farming. But sometimes it didn’t rain enough, or it rained too much, or the summers were too hot or too cold, and so his harvests were not as good as he hoped.
He had a wife. And she was a good wife whom he loved. But sometimes she nagged him too often or too much. And sometimes he got tired of her.
And he had children. And they were good children. He enjoyed them a lot. But sometimes…
The Buddha listened patiently to the man’s story until he finally finished. He looked at the Buddha expectantly, waiting for some word that would fix everything. Then the Buddha said, “I can’t help you.”
The man was startled, then disappointed, then angry. He said, “I thought you were a great teacher. I thought you could help me.”
Everybody’s got problems,” said the Buddha. “In fact, we always have eighty-three problems, each one of us, and there’s nothing we can do about it. If you manage to solve one problem, it’s immediately replaced by another. You’ll always have eighty-three problems. You’re going to die, for example. For you, that’s a problem, and it’s one you’ll not escape. There’s nothing you nor I nor anyone else can do about it. We all have problems like these, and they don’t go away.”
The man was furious. “Then what good is your teaching?” he demanded.
“Well,” said the Buddha, “it might help you with the eighty-fourth problem.”
“The eighty-fourth problem?” said the man. “What’s the eighty-fourth problem?”
“You don’t want any problems,” said the Buddha.
Run Away, Deny, or Face Up?
We all have problems. And we always will. Why? It’s not complicated. The world refuses to operate according to our personal plan; people are often thoughtless and unkind; things happen; mistakes are made; dissatisfaction is rampant; we want more than we have. And so problems appear. When we try to avoid them by denying that they exist, or refusing to accept that they are part of our lives, or blaming others for our troubles, we become like the farmer in the story: frustrated and dissatisfied. And then, as the Buddha taught, rather than having our allotment of eighty-three, we end up with eighty-four.
“The problem is not that there are problems,” writes American psychiatrist Theodore Rubin. “The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.”
Denying that there are problems, or failing to face up to them and take them on, leads to a predictable outcome: they get worse. “Problems do not go away,” writes psychiatrist M. Scott Peck in his book, The Road Less Traveled. “They must be worked through or else they remain forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit.”
It could even be worse . Denying that we have problems, or refusing to deal with them, Peck believes, are the sources of one of the most devastating of human problems: “The tendency to avoid problems,” he says, “…is the primary basis of all human mental illness.”.
There is another way to understand the Buddha’s teachings that we all have eighty-three problems: Having problems and grappling with them need not be problem, it could be a blessing. Here is Peck again:
“..it is in this whole process of meeting and solving problems that life has its meaning. Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure. Problems call forth our courage and wisdom. It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually.”
Accepting that we have problems and working our we way through them can yield huge dividends: mental and spiritual growth, success rather than failure, the achievement of meaning and purpose. And there is more. Psychologists are in agreement that the presence of problems at the center of our emotional and cognitive experiences offers us important benefits :
- Problems exist because we care about what is happening;
- Our emotional lives are attached to the problems we grapple with;
- We only think when we are confronted with problems;
- There is no perception per se, but only perception in relationship to problems;
- Learning does not occur in a vacuum, but always about ways to solve problems;
- The choices we make, and then the actions we take in order to implement our choices, are aways about problems.
Clearly, problems are important in our lives, even essential: growth, success, emotional vitality, courage, wisdom, thinking, perceiving and experiencing, learning, choosing and acting, are all associated with problem situations.
Rather than deny or distort or evade or run away from our problems, what if we turned toward them instead, and faced up to them. In their book Hard Facts, Dangerous Truths and Total Nonsense, Stanford professors Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert Sutton go further. Writing primarily to leaders in business and organizations, they make a strong suggestion that applies as well to all of us: Embrace the Mess!
They explain what they mean by Embracing the Mess this way:
Accept that there will always be errors, setbacks, miscommunication, frayed nerves, and frightening rumors…Treat glitches as a normal part of the …program, learn from them, assume that everyone has the best intentions, and focus upon how to fix the problem instead of whom to blame. Point at solutions instead of each other.
While it may seem to be paradoxical, having problems is the best way, and perhaps the only way, to become who and what we want to be. If we are to get somewhere in our lives, we need our problems to help us along, which is why being skilled at dealing with them is so important.
This is not to say that problems are always pleasant experiences. While working on some problems may fill us with excitement and exhilaration, others can push us to our limits and beyond. Grappling with them can keep us awake at night, worrying over what may happen, fretting that what we plan to do will not help. Yet there is always the promise that afterwards, when we have done our best, we will be smarter, wiser, and more capable of taking on the next challenge. The only way to get better at working with problems is to work with problems.
But eighty-three problems is enough. No one should burden themselves with the eighty-fourth!
Thanks for another common sense and insightful entry Joe. Pointing at solutions instead of each other has been a part of my life – from days with you, Virginia and Agi at U of U. The 84th problem has also been part of my family and professional life/thinking. This one takes big efforts to let go of and move on. I want at least some of the 83 messes to be less messy. A LOT LESS MESSY !!! Ah shucks big messes come and have been temporarily repaired – then come back in similar form. Ah Drat.
Be well and keep writing my friend.
The 84th Problem
Summary and Analysis:
EVERYONE has 83 problems, the 84th problem is not wanting anymore problems. There are 3 options when facing problems: RUN AWAY, DENY, or FACE UP.
“The problem is not that there are problems, the problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.”
“Problems do not go away, they must be worked through or else they remain forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit.”
Avoiding problems will not get you very far in life. Figuring out how to deal with your problems in a creative way will benefit you personally and professionally.
BENEFITS:
Mental and spiritual growth
Success rather than failure
The achievement of meaning and purpose
New ways of learning and thinking
TURN TOWARDS your problems instead of running away or being in denial FACE UP TO THEM.
EMBRACE THE MESS:
Being skilled in dealing with problems efficiently and effectively is essential as a leader. Each problem teaches you something and helps to develop the mental tools needed to take on challenges.
If you can accept that there will always be problems, and that EVERYONE has problems, and realize that the only way to have forward progress in life is to address them head on with an open mind and utilize your creative brain, you will succeed. Not to say that making mistakes or failures is a bad thing, it could be the only way to success.
The importance of mistakes and failures is crucial in the learning process of problem solving.
“To find a few ideas that work, you need to try a lot that don’t.”
“If we’re not making mistakes, we’re not going anywhere.”
“Success represents the 1% of your work which results only from the 99% that is called failure.”
Having strong emotional intelligence and good communication and language will get you far. Being self-aware and self-regulated will help you to keep control and stay focused on the task at hand.
“People who have mastered their emotions are able to roll with the changes.”
Facing problems straight on will give you a better understanding of it, and will help in bridging, narrowing, or closing a GAP. Creative thinking is a good way to think and act in new ways that may ultimately add value to your problem solving process.
“Having problems is perhaps the only way to become who and what we want to be.”
Every person has 83 problems. If you have 84 problems then you are giving up and don’t want any problems. The issue that faces everyone is you can either run away from the problem, deny the problem exists, and face the problem. Accepting the problems and dealing with them will be challenging but can also lead to “great mental and spiritually growth”
The process of creating something new and exciting is what most business people want to be apart of and strive for. The fun part of business is creating something new and learning from the problems your confronted with. In confronting these problems you progress mentally and increase your emotional intelligence broadening your view of the business world. In business, you must be aware of the changing markets to improve and innovate a new product that consumers want. In the article How (Unethical are you?) Mahzarin R Banaji Max H Bazerman and Dolly Chugh they had the example of sending employees out to spend time in clients organizations as a way to improve service and create an environment that counter acts stereotypes reinforced in their organization.
The 84th Problem
Overview:
The 84th problem lays out the framework for problems. The article brings up the point that we all have problems of are own, and that we will always have problems. Problems happen for a verity of reasons, but it is up to us on how we deal with those problems. The problem is not the problem itself; the problem is not recognizing the problem or ignoring the problem. Accepting that we have problems and working through them can yield huge dividends.
Problems:
• Problems exist because we care about what is happening
• Our emotional lives are attached to the problems we grapple with
• We only think when we are confronted with problems
• There is no perception per se, but only perception in relationship to problems
Advantages of learning from problems:
• Provides growth
• Success
• Emotional vitality
• Courage
• Wisdom
Analysis:
We all put certain things off its part of life, why we tend to put some things off verse others that’s another question. We tend to put things off that were “scared of” or in the articles case we tend to put problems off. It’s natural to run away from problems or pretend like we didn’t see them. The article gives us hope that if we can confront problems head on that will open new doors for us. Learning from problems allows for us to grow and learn from past mistakes. The only way to get past a problem is by not ignoring the problem and attacking it.
Closing Thoughts:
This is a very interesting article in the sense that it reminds us that the success of fixing problems really comes down to attacking problems. Just like sports if you’re caught flatfooted your going to get beat, and you will not like the end results. Its best that we confront are problems rather then hide from them. I also really like how the article brought up the points on how we can learn from past mistakes. Learning from our past is extremely important in my eyes and couldn’t agree more. Thanks once again for the great read.
The 84th Problem
We all have 83 problems don’t let you 84th problem be a problem with having problems.
“We all have problems. And we always will.” (J, Bentley)
It is what we do with our problems that ultimately defines who we are.
“..its is in this whole process of meeting and solving problems that life has its meaning. Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure. Problems call forth our courage and wisdom. It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually.” (M. Scott Peck)
“TAMING THE WICKED PROBLEM”;
REFRAMING AND CREATIVITY
In order to reframe the problem and look at it through a creative light we must change our point of view.
Step outside the box and change our point of view!
“I push my chair into the hallway to change my viewpoint and stimulate my creative juices.” – Dilbert
Drawing distinctions as well as linking the similarities between past experiences and new ideas allows us to reframe and use creative problem solving.
Wild connections!
“See old things in new ways!”
“Try
untried
circuitry,
new
fuses,
Tell it like it never really was,
Man”
It’s not going to be easy!
“Only those who will risk going to far can possible find out how far one can go.” – T.S. Elliot
In order to be a true leader and trailblazer you must not be:
– Concerned with what others think
– Lack emotional intelligence
– Be restricted to the current rules, norms, expectations and guidelines
– We must use creativity to ADD VALUE
“Creativity is the connecting & reframing of knowledge”
Analysis:
As business leaders and therefore action-oriented problem solvers we must “Embrace the Mess!” There are inherent problems in all aspects of our lives and especially in our organizations as leaders we must recognize this way of life and face these problems.
To be a highly effective leader one should use the theories and frameworks presented to reframe the problem and use creativity to find the necessary connections between past experience and new ideas in order to manage or solve it.
“..it is in this whole process of meeting and solving problems that life has its meaning. Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure. Problems call forth our courage and wisdom. It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually.”
-M. Scott Peck
Summary & Main Concepts
“The 84th problem” main points are that as people we are going to always be confronted with problems, and we need to accept that reality. The problem lies within people that are frustrated by the fact that life is always going to present us with problems. Why? Because we live in a world with tons of different ideas, opposing religions, opposing desires, different hopes, different dreams, people can treat us wrongly due to their lack of care, or selfishness. As people we need to realize and come to terms with life giving us problems and live in that, not ignore it. WE NEED TO “EMRACE THE MESS”.
Though we are confronted with problems always this way of life does give benefits:
• Problems exist because we care about what is happening;
• Our emotional lives are attached to the problems we grapple with;
• We only think when we are confronted with problems;
• There is no perception per se, but only perception in relationship to problems;
• Learning does not occur in a vacuum, but always about ways to solve problems;
• The choices we make, and then the actions we take in order to implement our choices, are aways about problems.
Because of this problems make us healthy by continuing to challenge us. This promotes growth, success, emotional growth, a deeper understanding, and wisdom.
ANALYSIS
“What Great Managers Do” by Marcus Buckinham, makes a very profound statement about what separates good managers from the GREAT ones.
“there is one quality that sets truly great managers apart from the rest: They discover what is unique about each person and then capitalize on it.”
The article then goes onto to show how managers go about finding those strengths, growing the strengths, and learn how to trigger such strengths within each employee. This type of work will always be messy, it wont always come easy, why? Just like mentioned above we are dealing with people, usually people much different then us, and we have to learn to face the problems and learn to cope and learn to try and bridge, narrow, or close the gap between employees their wants, skills, needs, and the business wants skills, and needs in a way that creates harmony and advantage.
We all have problems in our life some are big some are small and annoying, How we perceive these problems leads to how our individual perception of reality is created. Some people view problems as a burden while other view them as a challenge, Which ever one of these viewpoints that you build your perception of reality around will dictate the emotional path of your well-being. A Marjory of people will see problems as issues that are better left alone because they take too much input to deal with, also the fact that a person will have to face unknown challenges, so many people will Deny or run away from the problem which in the long run will only make problems worse.
What if you build your perception of reality around viewing problem as a challenge that is worth the reward for under taking them? This view will lead to a more positive view on life and possibly less stress due to the fact that we are accepting the challenge of the problem at the beginning before it has a chance to grow into a wicked mess. The second part about dealing with our problems in a conscious mind is that we gain experience on how to address and attack our problem, which will lead to better self- confidence when dealing with future problems.
A quote I hold to hearth is “If we don’t take time to deal with the bad and terrible that gets thrown at us in life, then we will never really know how good the good is.”
“The 84th Problem” is an interesting look at the nature of problems and the role that they play in life. It describes a man who went to the Buddha seeking help for his countless problems he seemed to be constantly encountering. Rather than giving him some magical fix for his ailments, the Buddha explained that he could not help him. He went on to say that every person is endowed with at least 83 problems, and that the only problem he could help with was the “optional” 84th problem, which is the problem of not being able to accept that one will always have problems.
I think this is a great piece of reflective writing, and can be applied to much more than just the business world. Although I am not a religious person, reading this story makes me think of “The Serenity Prayer”, which advocates acceptance of one’s problems in the pursuit of happiness. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change” is the relevant line, as well as “Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace”. Overall, I think the message here is that a person will always have problems, and to try to deny or change this is futile. This is, of course, not to say that one should not try to address the problems in their life, but rather that someone should work to tackle them one by one, and not expect their supply of problems to ever be exhausted. In fact, problems are an integral part of life, and that the tackling of problems is the very thing that causes us to learn and grow as people. To anticipate neutralizing some final problem, and crossing the horizon into a problem-free life is folly, and if you base your happiness on this expectation you are only burdening yourself with another problem, and this one could be otherwise avoided.
Greetings Joe!
Again thank you for your wisdom and writing on your Taming Wicked Problems website. By reading your writing for the last 16 weeks in Dr. Martyn Kingston’s Leading and Managing Change course at Colorado Mountain College in Steamboat Springs, we have discussed your compelling ideas on our own discussion board, and now with you on this website.
“What is the 84th Problem?”
Not accepting that problems exist and have to be addressed is the 84th Problem. You give a interesting example of an unhappy farmer describing why he is frustrated and dissatisfied and how he struggles because he doesn’t want to struggle or have problems. Buddha just tells him that he needs to realize he’s creating another problem for himself by thinking life can be lived without facing difficult challenges. As you point out by citing Robert Peck, “..it is in this whole process of meeting and solving problems that life has its meaning. Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure. Problems call forth our courage and wisdom. It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually.” Your writing encourages everyone to accept how difficult and complex life is.
I learned that by addressing and dealing with problems (embracing the mess), individuals can grow & transform not only themselves, but also their organizations, communities, friends and families. Demonstrating courage and wisdom during difficult times adds meaning to life, and separates the roses from the thorns. People who accept the messiness of life and face their problems are more apt to find success as they grapple and grope. Leaders who understand these truths will effect positive change, and find ways to manage problems that might otherwise never be addressed.